lumrant
Sunday, March 07, 2004
From the "Celebrating Your Family's Idiocy" department...
I'll tell you, nothing says "har!" better than old Harry S.'s expression right here. Whether it's the "different teeth" argument, the "you used to look alike, but..." argument, or the "two different placentas" argument, I have one thing to say: "there is 99.99993% probability that David Lum- Twin A and John Lum- Twin B are identical twins". Further details:
Here it is: proof that we are identical twins. It'll be interesting to----- Message from To: Subject: Personal and Confidential Dear Client: Thank you for choosing GeneTree DNA Testing Center. We are happy to have been able to serve you. Below you will find your test results. A detailed copy of the report has been mailed out to the address that you provided us on the ordering form. We try to make every attempt to present these results in an easy-to-understand format. However, should you have additional questions, or feel that something is unclear regarding this procedure, feel free to call or email us. We are always happy to be of assistance if you need it. At GeneTree, we pride ourselves on being an easy-to-access company, providing simple-to-follow instructions, and clearly written results. If there is anything that you feel we can improve upon, please let us know and we will make every attempt to satisfy the needs of our customers beyond their expectations. I hope you have found our services both convenient and easy to use. Once again, thank you for choosing the GeneTree DNA Testing Center, the dependable source for answering your difficult questions. Zygosity Analysis Report T015225 Specimen Sample #1: David Lum- Twin A Specimen Sample #2: John Lum- Twin B Probability of zygosity: 99.99993% DNA profiling was performed by standard methods, and has been completed on samples in the name of David Lum- Twin A and John Lum- Twin B. Based on the observed scientific evidence, it is concluded, for all practical purposes, in reference to the submitted samples, that there is 99.99993% probability that David Lum- Twin A and John Lum- Twin B are identical twins. Therefore, David Lum- Twin A is included as the possible identical twin of John Lum- Twin B. The odds that these two individuals are identical twins and not ordinary siblings is 1439485.45 to 1. The above information is believed to be correct, but is not purported to be all-inclusive. GeneTree cannot vouch for the origin of the samples prior to arriving at GeneTree. All results are kept confidential. Any unauthorized use of this document is the sole responsibility of the perpetrator. ****************************************************** GeneTree DNA Testing Center 2495 S West Temple Salt Lake City, UT 84115 Phone: (888) 404-GENE Fax: (801) 461-9761; http://www.genetree.com/ ****************************************************** |
For even more fun, try to decipher the Knave-scanned (read: photographed with his expensive digital camera) document below, which is the "more detailed report" that GeneTree send his way. I'm sure you'll join me in saying that Knave really got his $280 worth here! At the least, I wanted to see something that discussed As, Cs, Ts, and Gs!
"That was the biggest waste of money in history."
--Jeanie, commenting on the $280 that my brother pissed away on this little twin skirmish
"You owe it all to my smoking!"
--Mom, after hearing that identical twin-ness is not a trait carried by genes
