John Diet 2004 Update: Back in Front!


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Har! It's looking like there will have to be some Hurling in Sterling in order for Knave to catch me before our next weigh-off, slated to take place this weekend at Knave and Alyssa's house (or "home," as they say). Go bulimic, Knave!

The other activity next Saturday--doomed to be photo-journalized--will be Cheek Swabbing. Once and for all, the Lum Boys are going to find out whether they are identical twins or not! All it will take is some gentle cheek cell-harvesting, a postage-paid mailer, $250, and 7-to-10 business days, and the fine folks at GeneTree DNA Testing Center will give us the straight dope.

"Why bother testing?" you might profitably ask. Isn't the truth obvious to all? Well, various members of the Lum Clan (read: Knave and my parents) believe there's a pretty good chance that we're not identical, mostly thanks to some ridiculous argument that our teeth developed slightly differently when we were 12 years old. Personally, I'd be comfortable betting Molly's Life on the fact that we're as identical as the day is long.
- posted by John @ 9:05 PM